All my life , the word narcissist has been thrown around as more of a punch-line and less of a problem. Many people have narcissistic personality traits, thinking and behaving as though they are too cute and somehow better because of it. We’ve all seen it from time to time. You know people who walk around with a sense of entitlement for no reason other than “good looks” which varies depending on who you ask. These kinds of things are almost considered normal and most people just ignore it and call these people stuck-up or full of themselves. We can generally say that because so few of us know what a person who is really full of themselves may be like.
I never thought I would say it, but I know such a person and I’m actually related to him. My father is the poster-boy for narcissism. His picture should be next to the definition in the dictionary. But he’s not what you might think he would be based on general knowledge and ideas of narcissism. While people with narcissistic personality traits may walk around with a visible sense of entitlement, my father shows in his behavior his elevated sense of entitlement. Far beyond looking at him and knowing he has a sense of self grandiose, you may have to know him to get the idea. You may even have to be in my position to understand this personality disorder. It would take hearing your father tell you that he’s not going to give you any advanced notice as to when he’s coming to town from Africa, but rather expect for you to drop everything whenever he calls and go see him - even though you’re working, married and caring for 2 puppies at home. It takes knowing that your father expects you to bow down and respect him to the ends of the earth when he won’t even call you on your birthday. It takes having his wife physically threaten you and then hearing him laugh with her when you express your concern to him. It takes all of those things to understand how disturbed my father is and how far gone from reality he is. I don’t know about the rest of you, but if I ever treated anyone like that (let alone my only child), I’d want to kill myself for being such a disgusting person and parent. It’s a shame to me that there aren’t any rehab programs for narcissists because I know a few people who could use one, namely my father and his wife.
Does he have a mental illness or is he just an @**hole? My therapist (yes, I’m seeing a therapist because of my father’s behavior) told me about the possibility of a narcissistic personality disorder and it seemed to make perfect sense. I don’t know if this is all about a personality disorder, or if a part of it is his being an jerk. I mean, his wife is the most vicious, nasty, evil human being I have ever encountered in my life, so maybe she’s rubbing off on him. Really, she burned cats alive when she was a kid growing up in Bakersfield, Ca. (the armpit of California) and now she’s a mean alcoholic old woman. Who knows, but I thought I put in a tidbit about this narcissistic personality disorder since it has seemingly made my life slightly unmanageable. Any thoughts on this? I’d love to hear them.
